A former Playboy Playmate of the year was left feeling insecure about all areas of her body after numerous nude photoshoots.
Sara Underwood told the Girls Next Level podcast how she was always comparing herself to other models. She explained that she was always comparing herself to other models: “I was doing it a lot, and it would always be me and one other girl.
“The other girl always had massive b o o bs – you’d put on like 30 lingerie outfits a day just constantly shooting and these girls would put it on and just have instantly cleavage filling it out.
“But I’d have to put tons of chicken cutlets and stuff in my bra, because they want you to look voluptuous.”
Eventually, she decided to get a implant – even though she had already been selected as Playmate of the Year. “I was just constantly being reminded that my breasts needed to be bigger in order to look good or to be desired,” Sara said. “So I called and made my consultation on a lunch break at a Playboy catalogue shoot because I’d just had enough of it.”
At another shoot, another part of Sara’s body came in for criticism: “I remember it was the first time I realised that I didn’t have the nicest v*gina,” she recalled.
“I thought there might be something wrong with my v*gina on that shoot. I had never really looked at many v*ginas. I honestly really didn’t know what mine looked like to be honest.
“In most Playboy photos you’re just standing with your legs closed – you don’t open your legs or anything like that – so whatever I never really thought much about what my vag looked like.”
But on the set for the Playmate of the Year video, Sara was given a shocking instruction. She recalled: “The photographer comes up to me and she said ‘They sent me over for this, and this is so awkward for me to say, but they want me to tell you to tuck it.’ I said ‘what’, and she she’s like ‘Your v*gina; they want you to tuck your [cl*toris].’
“I was so mortified. First of all I just I had no idea that your cl*toris was or wasn’t supposed to show. I just hadn’t even thought about those things.
“And the fact that like there was a conversation going on behind camera while I was up there where they were saying ‘She needs to fix her v*gina’ – it was mortifying I’ve had a complex like ever since.”
She added that modelling can trigger serious insecurities. “My whole adult life has been based around trying to be pretty, being perceived as attractive,” Sara continued.
“My way of earning a living, and being able to provide for myself all relies on my looks and it’s something that I know has affected me.
“It’s going to be a thing that like I’m going to have to like work through and deal with and …inevitably it keeps fading so I need to let go of that and maybe have a bit of an identity crisis you know when that isn’t what supports me anymore or I’m not desired in that way anymore.
She added: “I mean we all do to an extent but I’ve literally spent my whole life being a model and surviving off of that so it’s a mind-f***.”
